I Am The Source of My Own Suffering

I’m hurt and angry. And I’m sad. And frustrated.

I’m tired of the indifference with which people treat us. The more I try, the more I seem to fail. Every act of kindness or good-natured gesture ends up returned as abuse and a request for more. They want more, they always want more. They demand it without ever truly looking into our eyes.

Everything is about them. And if it is not, they find a way to be it so. They come by for selfish reasons and they leave whenever they please. They mask themselves with tender smiles so they can fool everyone, including themselves. They believe they are good and they believe their perspective is always the right one, always the truthful one.

They have eyes but they pretend they not see us. They have ears but they refuse to listen to us. Anything like that would diminish their sense of importance and remind them of all the problems they also have as human beings just like us. Nonetheless, they want to keep living within a fiction story.  They want the stage for themselves and they will do whatever it takes to guarantee that no one shines brighter.

Poor ones. They do not know about the karmic law and they know nothing about their own suffering. For now they just see themselves as if they were the only important creatures in the world. Our incessant effort of feeding their egos is what allows them to be unaware of their inhumanity. Thus, ultimately, all the negative feelings we hold onto are due to our own doing. We must break the cycle to break free.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Eskay says:

    Wow, nice read. We are sometimes in denial of the intentions of people close to us, and this too contributes to feelings of hurt, when they actually do something that makes us feel betrayed. But, again, where does one draw the line between trust and denial?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vanessa Dias says:

      Thank you Eskay. That’s a really good question. I believe we can only keep doing our best to see reality for what it is and not for what we want to project. I find the inner-work through meditation useful in that pursuit but it is such a long way to go, isn’t it…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Eskay says:

    Agreed! It is a long way to go, and we can only try, and learn from our mistakes 🙂


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