I recently shared with you an article in which I talked about how there are no perfect friends or friendships because none of us is perfect either (please, read it here). Nonetheless, I do think you need to select carefully who you invest your energy on and who do you spend your time with.
To help you out, I will now share with you three signs that I have been coming across in my own experience and which have helped me to realise the kind of people I have surrounded myself with. Again, it doesn’t mean that you need to cut these people off from your life, it just means that you can become more aware about the amount of energy you invest in those relationships.
Here are the 3 signs:
- They always text you when something bad happens to them but they never bother to text you to just ask how are you doing. I used to have loads of these “friends”, because I used to think that I needed to take care of whomever needed help. We need to realise though that we are no saviours and there is a human being within us as well. To be surrounded by people who only take without giving is draining and sad. Time to let some of those “friends” go, my dear.
- They hang around you when you are scoring high in life but not when you are feeling low. I think this is the sign that makes me sad the most. It takes me a lot of time to actually realise this pattern which some people are experts on. Your company will be as much attractive as you show yourself happy and entertaining. The minute you show any trace of sadness or any other negative emotions… they are off.
- They engage in “selfish little games“. These are very interesting “friends”, from a psychology perspective. They are the ones who will make you wait for a reply, punish you when you hang out with other friends, or play the victim and blame you for damaging the connection. They can project all the wrongs in you by maybe saying that you became cold, distant, or uninterested in their friendship. In the end, they will always blame you and take no responsibility: for them, you were the one setting the friendship to failure.