It sounds obvious and cliche, the whole talk about self-love. But I can’t deny its truth and I would even like to add that we often think we already love ourselves enough just to find out that we actually don’t. We think we know what it means, because it sounds pretty simple. However, we often find that we actually know very little about loving ourselves – proof of that is the fact that we keep trapped in wrong relationships or very dramatic and draining “love” or “friendship” stories.
When you actually love yourself, you no longer see yourself waiting for hours to someone to reply to your texts. You no longer choose to invest in people that keep you waiting, because you realise you’re not as much as important for them as they are for you – which is totally fine but that doesn’t mean however that you should sit and wait for them to change, because they might not! Plus, when you actually love yourself, you no longer show interest in sticking around people who only reach out for a “ego massage”. You look for people who can actually contribute equally in a two-way relationship, who can take but also can give, who are there when you also need.
I am pretty sure that learning to love ourselves is a big journey. We can only decide today to love ourselves a little bit more than yesterday but we can’t really say that we already love ourselves enough, especially when our relationships’ department is still quite messy and we experience more heartbreaks than happiness.
But when we love ourselves we start to change this. We have a greater awareness of the type of people who can help us to evolve as human beings and the type of people we need to let go. This doesn’t mean that we should start cutting people off, but it does mean that we must decrease the emotional investment that we keep doing to make those relationships work.
We’re not supposed to make anything work. We are just supposed to become aware of who we are and therefore know who and which situations are better for us. That’s loving oneself: having the enough inner knowledge to accept what we can’t change and fully embrace experiences that are in harmony with our deep being. Choosing who you relate with and how is part of that process.